she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
