I wish I only lived at night.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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