We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
