its not stalking. its research.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
