I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I need a beard to bite.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
