i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize