Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
