We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
