he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
