Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
