Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
