i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize