I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
