i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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