They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
