Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize