The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
