it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
