I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
this boner is exhausting
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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