Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize