so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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