my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
