You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize