But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize