Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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