Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
