i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
How does it feel to date your dad?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
