i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
