I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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