what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
