It's Friday. Sex?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
