under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
