Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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