Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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