1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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