then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
