K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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