Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
