i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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