our cab driver is having phone sex.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
