found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
