You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
