i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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