I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
