:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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