She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
