Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
