I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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