i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
