I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
