matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He called his prostate his "boner button".
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
