final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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