I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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