he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
