ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize