i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
