Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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