I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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