if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
