dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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