They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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