is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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