I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize